My heart is out at sea, my head is all over the place.

have you ever confused a dream with reality itself? last night was having the sweetest nightmare ever. i can’t believe myself. I felt safe & insecure, both at the same time. i thought deeply. loved deeply & felt deeply. yet i’m denying my vulnerability towards you. I can’t admit what i’m feeling. Not even to myself. It’s pretty obvious there’s a risk involved in opening my heart. And that i just don’t want to take. I’m just sitting here, waiting to forget. & hoping it will go away on it’s own, just like how things always pass even when the world seems bleak & nothing’s going as planned. ever.  i woke up in complete contrary, i guess it’s time to wake myself up.

Every atom within me is trying to make a choice that leads to impenitence. why things happen will never be certain. guess i’ve got to take it in stride & move forward.

i’m sorry for the really morbid, no-one-would-probably-understand post. except for bestfren who is pretty much going through the same crap as i am. Maybe that’s why God created best friends. To have each other’s backs, & to relate. 

i’m uninspired & tired, Goodnight.